Tag Archives: Needful Things :-)

Crows sack fans!

Directly following the club’s 4th straight loss for season 2004, the coach, president, vice president and football manager all hit the Adelaide radio talkback airwaves, demanding changes.

During a series of irrational and increasingly hysterical calls, they managed to slip in the words Victoria and Melbourne at least 8 times. This really seemed to hit home and by 10pm the club had issued a Press Release stating that all fans had been offered fair and reasonable termination packages.

It is understood this includes a trip to Kangaroo Island to yet again see those sculpted rocks, and a map showing the feint marks on the Adelaide roads where the Grand Prix used to be.

A spokesperson from the Crows fan base was approached for a comment, but didn’t understand the question.

Historical note: This orginally appeared on The Bladder. Voted Mildly Unfunny by an over-senstive bunch of Crow tosspots. Must have hit the mark, then :-)

Artwill plan to aquire Telstra

In a surprise move David A Sidwell, founder and sole trader of Artwill Services, today announced a bid for Telstra.

Mr Sidwell, speaking on the condition he be taken out of context, said “With News Corporation moving offshore and Telstra buying kaz, I feel the time is right to issue a press release”

“I am powerful and yet easy to use” he said, with a puzzled look on his face, adding “I hence offer 0.0000032 cents per share” Apparently this values Telstra at $1.24.

Analysts were too busy laughing, after Mr Sidwell pointed out that the first four letters of their titles was a rude word. A deeply ironic thing indeed.